Yet Another Day

      Today is yet another day that I haven't done very much to seek after God. It's sad really because I want to. I just find it difficult to do... to get around to doing it. Too many things get in the way and I end up wasting my time on things that don't even matter. It is frustrating. I know that I want to be close to God. But I find myself wasting my time. It can be hard work wanting to be close to God. But why? Should it be hard work? Why shouldn't I want to do that more and more?

      It's the flesh. It fights against the Spirit. It doesn't want anything to do with spiritual things. It would rather focus on what feels good in the meantime. It wants to please itself and not God. But I, the man on the inside, want to do what is right. I guess it is a classic example of what Paul was talking about in Romans 7:14-25. It is the whole, what I want to do, I don't do... and what I do not want to do, thats what I end up doing. However, Paul here is referring to this happening while we are "carnal, sold under sin." We are no longer sold to sin who are in Christ Jesus. We put ourselves back under its control. We are free. Paul rings out in the end in verse 24 and 25a, "O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord." He goes on to say though, "So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin." I will do more reasearch on it, but I don't think that this passage is supposed to be talking about those who are intently following Christ. This shouldn't be a norm thing for someone who is close to Christ. Therefore, I think it is because I have begun walking according to the flesh more than according to the Spirit. I need to get back to seeking God with all I am, laying down my will and flesh.

      Sigh~ I know. It is true that we here on earth will make mistakes. We will fight with the flesh. But we must not give up and live according to it. Perhaps that is why Paul exhorts us to, "crucify the flesh" so that we will live according to the Spirit... moving closer and closer to God, growing in our love of Him. Crucifying it can be hard though. My flesh likes to do what it wants... like... sit around and play video games a lot. Or... not doing what I am supposed to be doing. It's hard.

      Our journey begins with accepting Christ, but we walk that journey everyday. Sometimes the path looks like it will be smoothing out for a little bit, other times (seems like a lot of the time) it gets pretty rocky, it is the narrow path after all. I guess it's something that you have to walk day by day. Day by day isn't easy... but God can carry us through. Help us Lord...